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Jul 8, 2008

Infertility Musings: Edited!

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Hi All:

Have decided to edit this to add something I wrote back in November that really summed up what I think as well:

But what about my own guilt?? At the moment I am neither pregnant nor have children. But the guilt that comes from having problems falling pregnant! OMG! You feel guilty that your body isn't doing what it should be able to do (and therefore failing that fertile female ideal!). You feel guilty that you can't give your partner that child he wants. You feel guilty when you hold that friend's new baby and you don't want to let go. You feel guilty that you are jealous of that pregnant woman walking down the street. You feel guilty above all, for wanting a baby when you are younger than the norm: that you are not financially stable etc. And that, I am sure will be just the beginning. But what is so wrong with society that it expects so much out of us women? Why can't I, a 19 yr old want a child for mature reasons? Why does society always assume it is about money or for some silly reason?? I want a large family, I want to start now while I am in a flexible stage of my life...is that so wrong? I have done all I wanted to do before I have children...I want to able to share any future adventures with them. But always there is that guilt...family guilt, societal guilt. In the end, but I think it is something you have to fight through: realise that as long as your kids are loved, fed, clothed and protected that everything is going to be alright.


I just thought that this tied really well into this post as well!

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Hi all,

Been reading infertility blogs today....And there are a lot out there! The most inclusive list is here ...a fantastic resource!

I guess for me, my infertility journey has been different to most others: where do I start...for one thing, I am only 20 years old. I get a lot of reactions such as "But you're only 20...Why the heck do you want kids now for?" Let alone the fact that having fertility issues bother me...My normal response to that is: "Why can't I want kids now..and my lack of fertility does bother me, just as it would bother you" (and yes, you can't understand until you have it, I think)...It is like there is some magical cut off age, where you are too young to want/have kids...that the primordial urge to bear children automatically begins at 24...In saying that, I do agree that some people are just too immature to ever have children (regardless of age).

But anyways....my journey has also been very different from others because I (and my partner: mustn't forget him!) have decided to not go down the medical treatment path...for many varied reasons: money most of all. I think we will at some point, but it will be a long aways into the future... We also decided that rather bringing another child into the world to spoil rotten ( which will happen at some point so don't panic!!!), we would rather foster kids that really need us...

But we are not going back on birth control either... we are being flexible...If it happens, it happens. If it doesn't? Well hopefully, I will have some lovely foster kids to cherish and love etc...

But anyways,
There you go!

Jo

1 comment:

Lori said...

There are always people who want to tell us how we should or should not feel.

Kudos to you for knowing yourself!

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