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Oct 14, 2008

Thesises, Differences and Life

Hi all,

All my friends have been writing brilliant mini thesises on religion, sexual identity and gender roles. I must say, I found them interesting, and food for thought. Sometimes however, it serves to reinforce how different my life is/ has been from the rest of you!

I think the biggest difference has been my upbringing: growing up part of a cloistered, conservative (and I believe, abusive) cult: I think has left the deepest impact when it comes to relating to general 'outside' stuff: I constantly feel like I am on catchup mode, trying to grab bits of my peer pop culture history: just so I can relate. For an example, the first time in my life I sat down and actually listened to the Spice Girls was last year: for the record, I found them slightly immature, and fulfilling every male fantasy of an ideal woman: come on! They had different 'types/personalities' to cater to different male views/fantasies! And you see, that's the thing: I am past the point to be able to just enjoy them: I virtually 'missed' that entire era.

And what about my current life? Sometimes I feel so much more responsiblity than many of my peers: and so ahead of them when it comes to life goals. A lot of my friends are all about careers and finishing uni: and I just find those things soooo minor in the big scheme of things. To me, I can't take a career, or a uni degree, or money with me when I die...What's important, now, particularily after my diagnosis, is family and people whom I care about. Life is too short to fit into other people's time schedule: something which I have done my entire life. 20+ years....The next 40+ years are going to be about me...and my ideas for my life.



Lidia said...

Hi Jo!

I like the pic of you and justin up the top of the page ;-)

I've never liked the spice girls :-P But I understand the 'outside' mode considering your background in fundamentalism. I think religion does make you think differently about the way the world is set, even if you are not religious now. If you've grown up in a religion, you are always going to look at life differently because I think that must be how we're taught to construct things. I always had access to both sides because although my dad is a Christian, my mum isn't, and we weren't that fundamentalist ;-)

About the career and the family - I kind of want to combine both. I would love to have a family before thirty, but I know to make this happen I'll have to work out my career first if I want to support them. Life is confusing ;-) I guess different people have different ideas on what should be major and minor in their life. I always wanted my career to be the main thing but now that I am growing older and away from family I really understand the importance of having that structure ;-)


Doctor Dark said...

Hello Jo,

I'd like to also begin by agreeing with Amy: I too like the photo at the top of the blog. :-P

I also want to say, I think I understand what you mean when you feel like you're trying to catch up on pop cultural artefacts that other people your age seem to take for granted. I don't know why, but I feel like such an old fogey compared to most people my age -- the music I listen to regularly comes from the same era that the music my parents listen to regularly comes from (although our tastes remain in stark contrast of each other :-P). I contemplated the other day getting a Dandy Warhols (90's - 00's active band) and then wondered if I was just trying to be en vogue.

I'd also like to say that, yes I think your upbringing was quite radically different to ours, it always amazes me just how different me, you, Amy and Mel-Dog are in character, as well as the diversity of our backgrounds and interests. I was never brought up particularly religiously, but I did live a very sheltered life, pretty much till I left Rocky and even so not that much has changed, just the person/s parenting me. My dad even told Jeremy that I'd always had a sheltered life.

And on the big scheme of things: true, you can't take any of that stuff with you when you die. But you can leave it behind for somebody else. I definitely know what you mean about time: I feel like I have to accomplish everything I want to do before I'm 30 because I'm afraid the world will end before I get to do what I want. :-P And on family, I'm still not sure whether or not to have children... although I have a feeling that by the time I reach a decision, it will be too late... or not!

I liked this post. :->

steve said...

we never grew up in a cult Joan.

steve said...

my name is stephen palmes

Sassy said...

I know what you mean. I've been married for almost four years now and most of my friends are still single and just finishing Uni. We've spent four years ttc while my friends have been living with their parents and doing degree after degree, and guy after guy.

I can respect what they do, but it's certainly not something that interests me.

I think it's great that you're not caught up in what others think you should be doing or what you feel socially obligated to do. Your life should be about you and your happiness. That's what is most important.


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