Well, here I am. Getting ready to get married....in approximately: enter above time and days here.
Nevertheless, this wedding makes me feel both sad and very blessed. It's a sad event because the one man that by biological rights should be there, won't be (due entirely to his own inappropriate, unforgivable actions), and it also serves to remind me of everything that he did to hurt me and people I care about. I would be talking, of course, about my father of 15 years. My father, who is a very sick man...who should be very quietly shot. Not that I promote violence in any way, but I do make an exception with him. I don't regret him not being there, I just will miss the ideal, the Dr Jekyll, if you will, of my father's personality.
But on the other hand, I feel so blessed by the two men that stood up and took his place, and did everything he chose not to do. Not many girls get 2 dads, but I get that privilege, and more. I have these two wonderful men (among many others no less important) to thank for my sanity and my ability to trust and hope. One is going to dance with me at my wedding...do that father, daughter dance that every girl should get to do with her daddy (in my case, one of). The other is going to be there in spirit, as he visits a sick friend. But they will both be part of my day: their love and support for me unwavering and unshakable.
There we have it. The pain and happiness all mixed into a single day.