I am thinking a lot lately. I figure it's mostly because of the lifestyle changes I am experiencing right now, and the huge rush of emotions that that brings on. Anyone that knows me can attest to my dislike of change. I would prefer to be just ignored by the thing that is change. I like habits, routines.
Weddings are a whole lot of hard work. Never mind the relationship part. I can understand why some couples tend to break up around this time. Interestingly but, for us, it works better when stress is in the house, so to speak. It pulls us together and makes us work better together. I think the fact we are getting married (finally) helps too: it tells me that he really committed to "us" as a relationship and partnership: it has created a lot less friction in our everyday life together.
The organisation bit of this wedding has got me flustered. I want everything to be perfect: decor, music, hair, makeup, clothes etc. I want everyone to have a fantastic time and no one else to worry about anything. Which is stupid of me because it means that I run the risk of over stretching myself. And I think I forget sometimes that I only had surgery 3 months ago, because every now and then my scar likes to give me a few twinges to remind me that it is still there. And it also is more important for Justin and I to have a good day, because it's our day, not anyone else's.
It is exhausting, but.