A blog is a personal diary. A daily pulpit. A collaborative space. A political soapbox. A breaking-news outlet. A collection of links. Your own private thoughts. Memos to the world.


Jun 18, 2009

Straightening the record.


To be frank, I don't know how to begin this post. It isn't because I don't have a lot to say: I just don't know how to say it.

How do I say that I feel like I am in absolute limbo: in the space between danger and success, brightness and darkness? I sat down and wrote a whole blog entry on it, but it doesn't feel quite right for this moment. I had been having one of my bad days that day: I was tired and frustrated: a bad mix for anyone, but lethal and life sapping to me.

I would like to make something perfectly clear and straighten the record. I do not hate the church. Do I dislike some of the practices that I was involved with when I was growing up? Absolutely yes. Do I distrust most organised religions? Yes. Will I speak up when someone heads in that direction and give them a run down of my experiences with the church? Yes, without hesitation. But does that mean I hate the church? No. In fact, there are times I wish I was back in a church simply for the support offered. But for me, the trade off simply isn't worth it. I like the flexibility and the freedom. I don't have to believe in a God anymore. I can believe whatever I choose to: and to me that is " more precious than rubies". And more importantly, I am not forced to be linked to a certain gender role for the rest of my life: another choice I do not take for granted.

I savour the fact that I can choose all these things, because I didn't have the choice for quite a while.



Finbarpurpleton said...

Hi Jo,
Just thought you should know that you don't have to worry about by choices church wise. I am not going to become some good little wifey. Nor am I going to give up on all my opinions on the world. I will maybe add to them and debate them but I won't lose them. Besides the way things are going I am going to be a spinster with furry four legged grandkids if I am not careful.

Melissa :)

Laura said...

I know exactly what you mean.


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