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Apr 24, 2010

Comment...

I received an interesting comment today regarding my recent Free Jinger blog post, and thought it deserved a public reply.

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Unfortunately you're not exactly being honest, Jo.
You attacked Ruth on Free Jinger. Viciously, explicitly, savagely. You insisted she was not real. You attacked someone who never harmed you (unless you thought that her getting attention that should be going to you was somehow an injustice...)


I never insisted that she was not real, nor did I attack her. I stated quite clearly that these were only my opinions, and pure speculation. In the interest of being open and honest I will include my original post from FJ.

I have noticed NLQ has stopped posting Ruth's story.
It is just speculation on my behalf, but maybe Vyckie is starting to question her story, too. You have to admit that it has gotten more and more extreme each time she posts.
To say nothing of the fact that she has started to post her series on her blog before NLQ (and I know for a fact that wasn't how it started: V asked her to do a series and Ruth agreed to allow them be published on NLQ).
I am the first to admit that I have had doubts about Ruth's story for quite sometime. I read a lot of the former fundie/QF blogs over a long period of time (and I write one) and have never questioned/doubted before.
 -----------------------------
You were proven wrong. In the very topic you chose to bolster your attack on her, you were proven wrong by Vicki continuing the series.
Did you apologize? To Ruth? To the other FJ board regulars?
No. You did not. You chose to vanish and flounce and play the martyr here, in dishonesty.

I did not vanish, or flounce. The reason I was not active on the board at the time was due to illness. I did however, return and explain my position more in depth as per below.


I know I haven't been commenting, but I have been very unwell, so forgive my absence. 

Firstly, I have never emailed Ruth. And I agree whomever did, took it too far. 


"Princessjo, you used to be a big supporter of Ruth on her blog, so starting this thread seems low. Really low."


You are quite correct in that I did comment on her blog a few times: but I comment on lots of blogs. At the time, I wanted to give her the benefit of the doubt: which I did do for about 12 months before speaking up, and raising my doubts.


"I'd be disappointed if I found out she was making it up - mainly because of the poor light that would cast on the other girls leaving ATI/Gothard/Fringe-Lunatic-Religionland families - but I wouldn't feel a personal sense of betrayal..."

I quite agree with Danger Pants statement here, minus the last little bit. For me, it would be a sense of betrayal, particularly as I am a former fundie myself. 

"How can we know for sure any of the teen who got away stories are for real ? Unless they file for sexual abuse and go to a public trial, there can't be proofs. Everything happens inside the house so even though they decide to not be anonymous anymore that might not help. In Vyckie's case, she published QF works."

In my case, I filed for sexual abuse, and have the documents (and news stories) to prove it. 
I would like to stress that like RHS, I had doubts, which I was simply raising. My intent was not to attack Ruth herself. I didn't comment at all on the first thread. 
I still struggle with the concept that we can question people like Emily, but with anyone else? No, can't do that!! Then you are low person and a coward. In my case, I am neither of those things, and neither do I think anybody else here is. If we were to focus the vitriol on the person that wrote Ruth that horrible email, then maybe I could understand it a little more. But as it stands now, I can't understand at all. 



 Additionally, I had talked to Vyckie about my concerns in the past. I did let her know that I was raising my concerns on Free Jinger.

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So you got some blowback. It was, to be truthful, nothing compared to the assault you made on another blogger's privacy. And you did NOT just attack Ruth. You attacked - tho' you may not realize that is what you did - every anonymous ex-fundie blogger, every sometime victim-of-sexism, and thus every poster on the Free Jinger board, too.
And gee whiz, some of the people you attacked took umbrage at that! Shocking, innit? Scandalous, that people who were attacked should be somewhat unhappy at that, and say so!
If you ever want to understand how fundies can lie about how they're doing harm, how abusees can go on to abuse, how people like your parents can claim that they are the innocent victims - just look in the mirror.
Better yet, grow up and apologize to the people you assaulted, starting with Ruth. And then start participating in communities as an actual grownup, not a drama llama.
Otherwise, you're just part of the problem too.

 Okay. Okaayyy...I have spent my life looking in mirrors. They surround me everywhere, everyday.

Jo

11 comments:

A Friend said...

Please don't worry about negative comments here. I thought your original post was NOT an attack - it was an inquiry.

I feel as you do re: RazingRuth.

Laura said...

Insert eye roll. And that is why I will probably not be back to FJ. At least you own your comments, unlike anonymous there. I can tell you there WAS some dishonesty on that message thread, and it didn't come from you. That's all I'm going to say because you know what I mean, so who cares what anyone else thinks?

Anonymous said...

Notice the SAME people who attacked those who questioned Ruth are now attacking Kristina, another blogger who gets on FJ? What's the difference? Hurt feelings are hurt feelings, whether you're hurting them because someone's anonymous story doesn't add all the way up or because you're attacking them for the name they chose for their baby. I, too, am done with Free Jinger.

Hembie said...

Ignore those horrible comments. I can't believe how nasty some people have been over doubts about a blogger.

I had my own doubts about Ruth because in the end it's the internet. You were nothing but polite.

A Friend said...

So much stuff irritated me about that whole thread. First, Ruth's anxiety attack when asked to provide personal information to Vyckie. But - I was under the impression that V had ALREADY vouched for her! I'm not trying to denigrate anxiety attacks; I know how bad they are. BUT, what does that mean about Ruth and V? If she had to provide MORE information to vouch for her identity... why did V believe her the first time? And how come us "normal" folks aren't privy to such information? There is NO point that I can see in keeping secrets!

Moreover... there's nothing on that blog that I couldn't find online. Seriously. There's nothing in there that would strike anyone as "privileged" information. It's all online. (Go Internet! ... I guess.)

Jo, I think you were totally right in questioning it. If the story is fake - and I'm beginning to strongly suspect that it is - it'll cause serious damage to those women who live in similar situations who want to get out. It'll damage their credibility in ways we can't predict - but we can imagine.

I don't think it's fair for her to basically snub all her readers and say "I'm not saying anything about my identity and you can deal with it" when she's putting things out there the way she is. That's all.

Lorena said...

All I can say is that when we write online, the chances that sooner or later someone would grossly misunderstand us.

There are lots of nutters out there. I'm sorry one of them upset you. I hope you'll recover soon.

Lorena said...

** correction...

All I can say is that when we write online, the chances that sooner or later someone would grossly misunderstand us...are very high.

Vyckie Garrison said...

Jo ~ ((((HUGS))))

I just wanted to add a word of support here for you ~ and sorry to be so late ~ I didn't see this post until this evening. I feel bad about all the flack that you've received as a result of the thread on FJ ~ :(

Having doubts ~ and expressing those doubts and asking for some evidence or at least reassurance is all part of leaving the child-like acceptance of fundamentalism behind.

Trust is a nice ideal ~ but blind trust is not healthy ~ and for your own protection ~ for healthy boundaries, I hope you continue to always ask questions and try to put 2 and 2 together to make sure things are adding up.

This blog ~ and your journey ~ are an important contribution to the work which all ex-fundamentalists are doing ~ just sharing our experiences and warning others not to go down that path ~ or if they're already on the path of fundamentalism, hopefully we can persuade some of them that a healthy dose of skepticism can spare them A LOT of grief.

Take care, Jo ~ be good to yourself ~ and thank you for being you, for being real.

Vyckie

Anonymous said...

Some of what Ruth writes isn't really ATI. I went through ATI and while it is similar, it's not *that* extreme. I can't stand Bill Gothard anymore and will not raise my family with his ideas, but I confess to scratching my head over some of what she says. I think maybe she had a mentally ill father who took some of Gothard's ideas to the far extreme. I don't think her experience is all that *typical.* Real? Maybe. But I think she should be honest that not everything in her life is because of Gothard's teachings. Or maybe she just can't separate them. No clue.

Anonymous said...

I just stumbled across this post after Googling "razingruth fake." I read FJ but don't post usually, and I didn't think your posts about razingruth's credibility were out of line or an "attack" - especially when the question of her credibility came up again today. The fact that razingruth's credibility is questioned every few months says a lot to me about her credibility. People should not be attacked for asking legitimate questions.

Anonymous said...

I have no idea if you still maintain this blog or if you still involved in FJ. (I'm not in FJ...I just followed Ruth's story through her blog). You may already know this, but your gut feeling from 3 years ago seems be proven correct.

http://www.truth-about-ruth.com/

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