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May 21, 2010

Double Lives, Destruction & Devastation.

Too often you hear stories of double lives, of secrecy and deceit. Our politicians are no exception to this human weakness. 

Recently, a New South Wales member of parliament was "caught out" by the media visiting a place described as "a gay sauna/club". This particular member of parliament was supposedly happily married, hetrosexual man with 2 adult children.

A debate has raged in the mainstream media in the days since, particularly considering the moral ethics of the way in which the MP was "caught out" and whether or not the MP's actions should have even been given news time in the first place. 

The fact remains (and is often overlooked) that there is family that has been utterly destroyed and devastated by this news. A family made out of real, living people, that did not have a public image, that did not have a say in the way this very personal information was revealed, has now been forced into a horrifying position. They now have to deal with the fallout very publicly. 

As a daughter of a man whom also lived multiple lives, I have had but a taste of the impact that such revelations can bring. But that taste left such a bitter memory that it has taught me well that having such a double life (particularly when you exclude those closest to you),  holds so much potential for disaster. It is a ticking time bomb, and you will get caught out one day. Honesty is nearly always the best policy. Otherwise, people can, and do, get hurt, seriously hurt. Injuries that do not heal quickly, and sometimes, not at all.

In saying that, a man has come out of the closet, in a way not of his own choosing. And I think it is a sad reflection upon society that he didn't feel comfortable enough to come forward and live his life openly and honestly, as gay, bi or straight. I find it terrible that when he did "come out" all the focus was on the "gay sauna/club", not on the impact the public reveal would have on his family. Who cares about his sexual orientation? Shouldn't the focus be on his family: the real victims here?



Lorena said...

It's a difficult situation, isn't it?

On one hand, I am glad when incidents like this happen, as it goes to show that there actually are folks from the gay and lesbian community in positions of power. It also shows the hypocrisy of the man who kept the secret.

As horrible as it is to force someone out of the closet like that, it seems that society needs to know the stories, to pry open many closed minds.

On the other hand, you feel for the family, for the unnecessary embarrassment.

My question is, would it be less embarrassing for the relatives if he were openly gay? Wouldn't they still have to deal with difficult questions ans social stigma?

My point is, are these growing pains of a society that badly needs to grow up?

Is there gain with no pain?

Is keeping the secret helping anyone?

Has the man--in a way--been freed to be who he really is?

Is there a painless way to go about this sort of thing?

Mommy of Monkeyshines said...

I loved your post today! Would you be willing to be a guest blogger on my site and repost this article? I couldn't have said it better myself!!


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