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Jul 1, 2010


So many times, life isn't predictable. It doesn't even make sense. But it exists, forcing you ever onwards.

I have been pondering a lot lately: the world, the people, my relationships with them. People come into our lives, sometimes they leave and come back, sometimes they leave forever.

In the past few months, I have been reminded of how fragile relationships can be. If I am to be honest, I have been reminded for far longer then that: people have been entering and leaving my life since I can remember. But each time it is still a surprise, still unexpected, and ultimately, still painful. I don't think you don't ever get used to having a relationship change, particularly when it is for worse. That goes doubly when it was a relationship that brought so much positivity for a time. Then, you get angry, and upset, because that relationship was worth something to you, and you don't want to lose it, even though through thought or deed you ultimately will: because the negativity that the changed relationship brings into both of your lives isn't worth it anymore.

We as humanity often take our relationships with others for granted. We assume that they (friends, partners etc) will always be there, and the fact is, they may not be. We assume that they will wait for you to get out of the darkness, or whatever the scenario may be.

And the sad fact it is that at times, we get left behind, or we leave others behind. No one is perfect. Not many can wait, or want to wait. Life goes on, forcing us onwards, forcing us to jettison those whom pull us down.

What an appalling thing to say, I know! But we are all guilty of ending a single relationship (or many) in a  negative manner. This, however, is something we love to live in ignorance of. We like to ignore the nasty bits of life, relationships and humanity. We like things in boxes, filed away quietly in the "Painful Relationship Ending" box. When a relationship ends blame is laid (often with the other person) and the rest of it gets put away to be henceforth referred to in a pain, sadness and loss (and yes, even bitterness) context.

I have relationships in that box: we all do. They rattle around in our memories, reminding us of our mistakes, and of mistakes others have committed against us. But yet, we still forget painful lessons learnt. We don't value our relationships and enjoy them the way we should.

Life forces us onwards. And the cycle begins again.


1 comment:

Jo said...

Wow. So true, and written so beautifully.

As I've gotten older (yes, I know I'm nowhere near "old and wise" just yet), but as I've gotten older I've done more to reach out when things get negative, something I wasn't able to do before. Just this week I've bit the bullet twice and tried to salvage relationships that were heading down that road. I really like what you've written about being left behind, because that's how I feel. My very best friend IRL has suffered two miscarriages and is now successfully pregnant with her third. After my loss, I feel her distancing herself -- out of fear? not wanting reminders of where she came from? out of sympathy and not wanting to BE that reminder? -- anyway, I've reached out to her and told her that I want to keep our friendship intact, even though I know that changes are inevitable.

Thanks again for this post.



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