Guys, thank you so much for your awesome comments and support. It was just amazing to read them all in my inbox as they came in overnight. The heart still aches - but it is nice to know that I am not the only one.
I don't know if anyone has done this or experienced it - but I have always been able to picture in my mind what our future children could look like - imagine them right down to personalities. And right now, it is like my imagined children are dead or have completely disappeared from my life. I know, I know, it sounds really dramatic - but to me, it is a real feeling. My dream babies are now just that - dreams. The chances that they could become reality feels so out of the realm of possibility right now.
That is the most devastating thing right now - I loved my babies before they were ever conceived - and now, I am left with the very real option that I will never have children of my own to love. And I have to be open and realistic about that possibility. I just can't put my head in the sand and ignore it. I wish I could.
Probably sound totally batty right now, huh? :-)
So Creme de la Creme is coming up again. And I really can't decide which blog entry to use. Too emotionally drained I think!
So I am opening a poll in the sidebar.
The 4 options are:
The Unwanted Spice
When I Shut the Front Door
Thoughts on Release
The Power of a Sole Voice
However, if there is another entry that you love and think would be great for Creme de la Creme, leave a comment and let me know! :-)