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Mar 31, 2011

Perfect Failure

Long time no write I know. I received a blog award, and I have been working on a post on it (and what is going on in my marriage), but I am finding it tough going. But not to worry, I will get there.

Anyone that knows me, knows that I avoid the housekeeping like the plague. For me, it is the single most stressful thing I do every day, Why?

Because I can never, ever get it to the standard I want. Or, I get overwhelmed by the sheer amount of work that I have to do!

I don't think of myself as lazy - I go, go, go all day. But when it comes to the housework? I am a complete failure.

In our society so much of our worth as women, as mothers, as wives, is tied to how we keep our home. It is assumed that if your house is messy, that you are lazy and not a good wife, mother or woman. You FAILED.

For me, it all comes back to the perfection principle - if I cannot get it to my standard of "perfect", it is like I am frozen with anxiety and cannot do it at all, or am unwilling to take it to the next level.

Take my photography, for example. Friends, family, even strangers keep telling me I should start a photography business. I always say no - because my photos are not as good as I would like them. They aren't (key word here, people) - PERFECT! :-)

I have a deep fear of failure. And yet, I fail to recognize or accept anything less than that mythical ideal I hold myself to.


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